Recommun - uh... - ifying

[brought about by A.'s post on gender (or other, presumably) stratification in academia (or elsewhere, presumably)]

She's right: past a certain point, not endorsing but ignoring comes out to the same thing as just endorsing. And I know that it happens, and that it's probably happened to me, but I have such trouble relating my own experience to any common group experience. This is the same as earlier, really... in my own frame of reference, I locate myself mysteriously and illogically outside of the factors that I logically know affect my entire experience. I can't explain! I can't justify! I see my actions and reactions as occurring somehow independently of... I don't know... everything. I know this is unreasonable and impossible. I know that I am just as affected by existing stereotypes, institutions, habits, stratifications as everyone else is. I know! But I still tend not to see myself in that, um, context. I judge myself on some bizarro nonexistent plane where all other factors are just not there. I don't know what's up with that, or how it affects... whatever. More later. Museum now.